Let Be
by Celli
Summary: Post-ep to "Objects in Space." Kaylee confesses to Simon.


Feedback: Positive or negative both welcome.   
celli@fanfic101.com   
Rating: PG-13 for references to Bad Things.   
Archiving: Fireflight (www.sunnydale-slayers.com/firefly)   
and by permission.  
Disclaimer: Still not mine. Firefly belongs to ME, FOX (grr),   
and other lawyer-possessing entities.   
Spoilers: Through "Objects in Space."  
Summary: Post-ep to OiS. Kaylee confesses to Simon.  
  
For Rhythm. Happy birthday!  
  
***  
  
Let Be  
by Celli Lane  
  
***  
  
"I had a plan. Even the captain knew I had a plan."  
  
"Well, you told the captain, River. You forgot to let me   
in on it." Simon's voice is groggy but warm. "I didn't   
know I was supposed to let him go."  
  
Kaylee stands in the doorway to the infirmary, feeling as   
awkward as she ever has--which is very--and watches River   
not-fuss over Simon, brushing her hands through the air   
over his wound without actually touching it. "'All the   
world is bitter as a tear,'" she says. "He shot you."  
  
"He punched me too. And then he kicked me."  
  
River's eyes widen, and Kaylee winces for her, but Simon   
takes River's hand and lays it over his heart. "I thought   
you were leaving me, *mei-mei,*" he says. "I had to."  
  
"I had a *plan,*" she says stubbornly, and he laughs just a   
little.  
  
"I won't doubt you again, River. 'Come hence, let be, lie   
still; it is enough.'" And he sounds like River for a   
moment there. But she smiles back at him.  
  
"Be nice," she says, and stands up.  
  
She passes Kaylee on the way out and pats her shoulder.   
"'Love is a barren sea, bitter and deep.'"  
  
"It is?" But River is already gone.  
  
"Kaylee," Simon says, and his voice is nearly as kind as it   
was when he spoke to River. "I haven't had a chance to say   
thank you yet."  
  
"What did you say to her?" she asks. Just a few minutes   
before he has to hate her, is it so much to ask?  
  
"What?"  
  
"Come hence? You don't talk like that."  
  
"Oh." A blush tips his cheeks, and it's a relief after how   
pale he was when Zoe finished with him. "It's an old poem.   
One of my favorites. I was reading it before--a few days   
ago, and River must have seen it." His smile dims a bit.   
"It makes me think of her, you see."  
  
Kaylee inches closer. "Why?"  
  
"'Though we sang as angels in her ear, she would not   
hear.'" He closes his eyes. Kaylee feels her throat seize   
up.  
  
"Simon, I gotta tell you something," she blurts before   
she's too scared.  
  
"Hm?"  
  
He doesn't open his eyes, and it should be easier this way.   
"I told Early where you were."  
  
"You what?"  
  
"In the engine room. He said--" *beatingheartbeenraped   
sayitunseemlymannerHURTYOU* "Don't matter what he said.   
He asked where River slept and I told him."  
  
Simon's eyes are open now, and the look in them is so dark   
she stumbles back a step. Then another expression crosses   
his face. "What did he say, Kaylee?"  
  
"Don't *matter.*" She's shaking again.  
  
"When he came in, River was gone." He sits up a little,   
and winces when it jolts his leg. But his eyes don't move   
from hers. "He told me that if I didn't help him find her,   
first he'd blow my brains out. Then he'd go back to the   
engine room. He said he would rape you before he killed   
you."  
  
"Oh. Oh." The Simon she knew before today wouldn't have   
been able to say that word to her face.  
  
"Is that why you told him?"  
  
"He said not--not to interfere at all." *There's no one   
that can help me.* "Or he'd come back."  
  
"And yet you got free and let the captain out."  
  
"River told me to. When she was being Serenity."  
  
"She's persuasive."  
  
"Don't smile at me!" Simon's expression goes to a shocked   
blank. "Don't be nice to me. Don't justify it. I told   
him where you slept, Simon. I shoulda lied, shoulda said   
somewhere else--"  
  
"Kaylee. Come here."  
  
She shakes her head miserably.  
  
"Kaylee, if I have to get up and chase you across this room   
it'll hurt my leg. Do you want me to hurt my leg?"  
  
She inches closer. He reaches out and grabs her hand, tugs   
until she's sitting where River was earlier.  
  
"If you'd lied to him, he would have kept his word. He   
would have gone back and hurt you. We both know it."  
  
"...sold you out," she says through the shaking of her   
shoulders.  
  
"You *saved* us. River's plan would have failed if you   
hadn't freed the captain. You helped."  
  
She can't stop the crying now, and shrugs his arms off when   
he tries to hold her. "You could have died 'cause of me.   
And they'd take River away and cut her brain again."  
  
"I'm okay. River's okay. *Baobei,* shh."  
  
She cries until her hair sticks to her face from the tears   
and the front of his shirt is wet. But finally the sound   
of his heart against her ear is louder than her hiccupy   
breaths.  
  
"I'm so sorry," he says finally. "I'm sorry he scared you,   
Kaylee."  
  
"I'm sorry I told on you," she says, and he smiles.  
  
"Then we're even, I suppose."  
  
"I can live with that."  
  
He kisses the top of her head. "'Come hence. Let be. Lie   
still...'"  
  
"'...it is enough,'" she finishes. And she supposes it is.  
  
***  
  
Notes:   
  
The Horsechicks reviewed, and Serrico caught my Star Trek   
mistake. *g* Thanks, guys!  
  
(Belated) part of Firefly Improv #3:   
barren -- pale -- justify -- live  
  
mei-mei--little sister  
baobei--baby/darling  
Translations from fireflyfans.net   
  
The poem quoted is "A Leave-Taking" by A.C. Swinburne:   
http://eir.library.utoronto.ca/rpo/display/displaypoem.cfm?poemnum=2093 


End file.
